


Code Red

by druswriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Banter, Double Dating, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Overdramatic Tony Stark, Platonically, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sam Wilson & James "Rhodey" Rhodes Friendship, and it stops there, retired tony stark, tony and steve are whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29038335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/druswriting/pseuds/druswriting
Summary: Tony and Rhodey are together. Sam and Steve are together.Tony and Steve don't get along. Sam and Rhodey do get along.They go on a double date.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 78





	Code Red

**Author's Note:**

> So. We all know I'm a sucker for some samsteve and some rhodeytony. This fic was inevitable. The concept is based on [my brilliant thoughts](https://rhfes.tumblr.com/post/636879959773888512/more-tropes-of-stevetony-friendship-id-like-to).
> 
> I've tried to find out deep reasons why Steve and Tony might dislike each other. It's bullshit obviously. But it was fun.

“Steve, we have a code red,” Tony said as he strolled into Steve's room in the compound. 

Steve jumped to his feet, ready for action. Tony was technically retired, although Rhodey kept promising them that Tony was just taking a break, and it’s been a while since Tony walked in unannounced to Steve’s room and decided to take some of his time. But Steve wasn’t going to question if Tony was ready to be back in the suit if he decided to do so because of an imminent threat. Steve wouldn’t waste time on Tony’s retirement (and the correct codenames to use) if there was a danger to face. “What is it?” 

“Sam and Rhodey are friends,” and Tony collapsed into a chair as if the world was ending. 

Steve gaped at him and slowly sat down, “what?” 

Tony rolled his eyes, as if Steve was the one worth eye rolling here. “Your boyfriend,” Tony pointed to Steve, “and my husband,” Tony pointed to himself, “are friends,” he stressed the last word slowly and interlaced his hands together as a sign of their friendship.

Steve rolled his eyes in response to Tony infantilizing him. “Yeah, I know. I am the team leader and they’re under my training, remember? I don’t see why that’s a code red.” 

Tony gasped, shocked, “he doesn’t see the code red! Doesn’t see- The problem is, we’re both dating them and that now they’re friends, we will have to go on a double date. It’s only a matter of time before they ask for one.” 

“So?” Steve raised an eyebrow. 

“So?!” Tony bristled, frustrated by Steve’s lack of understanding, “we’ll all have to go together as a group and talk and whatever they do on double dates. And who knows where that can go? Wine tasting, clubbing, horseback riding! Game night, even!” 

Steve frowned. He was starting to see the problem a little more but was still clueless. Tony liked wine tasting and clubbing. He’d seen several articles of him doing just that. Why would he mind that? “Can we just go to dinner or something?” 

Tony sighed, exasperated, “Steve. The issue is not what we do. The issue is that you and I will have to get along.” 

Then it hit Steve like a slap to the face. “Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Tony seemed satisfied that Steve finally got it, but despaired at the idea of having to hang out with him, “oh.” 

Steve pursed his lips, trying to think of what to do. He would call a truce with Tony and put aside their differences if Sam asked him too (Steve swore that Sam’s pleading eyes would be the death of him) but it would be much more ideal to not have to hang out with Tony at all. “Maybe they won’t ask us?” Steve suggested. 

“Rhodey has already dropped like five hints so doubtful.” 

“Maybe we can just tell them no?” 

Tony snorted, “okay, sure. Like they don’t have us wrapped around their fingers.” 

Steve sighed. That was true. He might have followed around Sam all through Washington DC just because he thought he was cute, but Tony bought a private plane for Rhodey just last month because he said he wanted one. They were so screwed. “We could try…” Steve suggested cautiously, “...to be civil.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow, doubting that, “we couldn’t be civil for the Avengers. You think we could be civil for this?” 

“Sam and Rhodey weren’t on the Avengers.” 

Tony’s lips perked up, “would have altered the timeline if they were.” 

Steve smiled back. “Besides, we only fight about big things. You know, like building a mur-” Steve stopped himself before he finished that sentence at the stink eye Tony was giving him. They were supposed to be attempting to get along. “Like building Vision,” Steve amended, “it’s probably going to be just a dinner, anyway. What can we fight about at a dinner?” 

Tony scoffed and raised from his seat, talking animatedly while rising to the challenge, “what to eat, what to drink, how to split the bill, where to go, where to sit, who’s ordering, what kind of private room do we want, etc. And that is before we talk, then we have to make  _ conversation _ . About God knows what! We could discuss your horrid taste in music and movies. Or we could discuss my business. We could discuss politics! Or, God forbid, the Avengers.” 

Steve resisted the urge to scowl at Tony’s dramatics, “we could come up with a list of things not to discuss then. And I’m telling you right now we are not getting a private room.” 

“Oh, yes, we are!”

“No, we are not.” 

“Rogers, we are celebrities-” 

“Private rooms promote elitism and-” 

“-maybe not Wilson who’s still gasping at the threads of his public anonymity so-” 

“-then you miss the whole asthenosphere and it means that you’re less likely to behave yourself because it’ll just be us and-” 

“-that means there’ll be cameras and I rather there won’t be evidence of me strangling you!” Then Tony blinked as he realized he just proved Steve right. Steve smirked smugly. Tony groaned, “listen, Rogers, I’ve been in the celebrity dating business longer than you, so believe you me-” 

“Stop being a pretentious know-it-all!” 

Tony laughed and gestured between them, “pot meet kettle.”

Steve let out a frustrated noise and pinched his nose, “we’re getting nowhere.” 

Tony fell silent at that. 

“Look, we hate each other, maybe we should just tell them that.” 

Tony frowned, “I don’t hate you. You hate me?” 

Steve gaped at him, “you don’t hate me?” 

“No, it’s just-” Tony sighed, “I mostly just don’t agree with you. It doesn’t help that you remind me of a really sucky time in my life, and when you act so high and mighty or whatever, it reminds me of it even more. And I just… I don’t antagonize you on purpose, though. Most times. Okay, maybe it’s sometimes fun to rile you up. But I don’t…. Hate you.” 

Steve blinked, “oh. Well… I don’t hate you too. I just… yeah, I disagree with you. And you… you’re the future, I guess. It just reminds me all the time of how I’m stuck in the past. Or I don’t know… how much I can’t compare. Some people help me feel like I’m fitting in, like this team. But you… don’t. That’s all. It’s nothing to do with you. Maybe a little to do with Howard and your intelligence. But… I don’t hate you. I just hate how you make me feel.”

Tony gave him a weak smile. 

_ Okay,  _ Steve thought as they smiled in understanding at one another,  _ maybe we could do this _ .

~~~

“They’re the ones who suggested it?” 

Rhodey nodded, then took a sip of his coffee. 

“Well, that’s great. I liked that better than your five point plan to convince Tony. I didn’t have patience for that. Going on dates with Clint and Natasha is a much better plan. Hey, maybe we should all triple date.” 

Rhodey finished the sip and then brought his hand upwards to wipe the coffee from his upper lip, “they’re up to something. There’s no way Tony would let go of his petiness.” 

Sam groaned, “can’t you just accept the win? What’s the worst that can happen, they’ll get along now?” 

“Maybe they’ll gang up on us. Trying to tell us that we should have a foursome of something. That sounds more like Tony.” 

Sam shook his head, “it doesn’t sound at all like Steve. He doesn’t like to share.” 

“Ugh, keep your gross animal sex life to yourself!” 

“You’re the one talking about foursomes!” 

“Which we should absolutely not be convinced into doing!” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “maybe Tony just picked up on the fact you want a double date and decided to make your dreams come true.” 

Rhodey huffed, “maybe… but your boyfriend is in this too, Wilson. Maybe this is his doing.” 

“I don’t think Steve would willingly go to Stark. He doesn’t like him that much to bother him in his retirement.” 

Rhodey snorted, “sounds like him.” 

“Maybe Steve’s evil plan is recruiting Tony back in the Avengers or,” Sam mock gasped, “team bonding!” 

Rhodey laughed, despite being made fun of, “that also sounds like him.”

Sam snickered, “kinda, yeah. But seriously what does it matter what their endgame is? What’s the deal? Do you not want to go on this double date unless you’re forcing Tony?” 

“No…” Rhodey mumbled, “I just thought it would be entertaining to watch them squabble.” 

Sam chuckled, “well, I can’t dispute you there.” 

~~~

Steve picked at his food. The restaurant Tony took them to only served tiny food that looked more suiting to be appetizers rather than meals. Tony swore this place has one of the best food in New York city, but Steve wasn’t even sure it was food. He glanced at Rhodey and Tony who seemed to be enjoying their own food in tiny little bites. Steve looked back at his own food. Maybe they ordered something else? 

“Um, Sam,” Steve whispered to his boyfriend, “are you... Enjoying this?” 

Sam glanced from his own food at Steve. Sam had at least eaten a little. “No. This is rich people's food. I can’t believe  _ Jamie _ likes it. But sometimes you have to pretend.” 

“Couldn’t Tony have taken us some place we’d all enjoy?” Steve complained. 

“What’s the matter, capsicle?” Tony cut in, “not liking your food?” 

Steve paused, not expecting to be put on the spot. He started to stammer, “it’s just not what I’m used to.” 

“Right,” Rhodey said, taking a sip of his expensive wine, “you used to boil everything.” 

Sam tried and failed to muffle a snigger. 

“No, I mean, it’s not my favorite type of modern food. That’s all.” 

Tony hummed thoughtfully, “well, how do you know? I’ve actually decided to take you here because I thought you haven’t tried this kind of food before. But you haven’t eaten a bite? Don’t you want to try?” then Tony paused as if realizing something, “it’s not because you think you’re too good for the food I like, right?” 

Steve’s eyes widened almost comically in alarm, afraid of upsetting Tony, promising himself that they would get along on this double date, “no, of course not! I’ll… I’ll try.” Carefully, he cut a small piece of his food, like he’d seen Tony and Rhodey do, and brought the food closer to his mouth. Counting to 3… he lunged on his fork and took a bite. 

_ It was disgusting.  _

Tony and Rhodey burst out laughing. “Oh my god! Did you see the look on his face!” Rhodey told him, “hysterical!” 

“You were so right, we had to do it, it was hilarious! I’m thinking of asking for the security tape so I’d have the footage forever!” 

Rhodey laughed, “you should do it. Nat would lose her shit about this.” 

Steve and Sam stared at them, “wait, this was a prank?” 

“Of course it was a prank,” Rhodey nudged Sam’s shoulder, “c’mon, do you know me to eat this shit?” 

“Well, I thought maybe your relationship with Tony…” 

“Ha!” Tony barked, “you think I like rich people's food? As a kid I was just waiting to leave the table so I could throw up!” 

“So…” Steve looked hesitant, “are we going to stay here?” 

“Fuck no,” Tony told him, “we’re going to get  McDonald's .” 

~~~

Sam and Steve seemed more in their element in the burger joint. They had worked fluidly as they passed toppings, condiments, and food to one another. Rhodey had told him how good of a team Sam and Steve were on and off the battle (“they could give us a run for our money at charades”, was Rhodey’s exact wording), but Tony was surprised at  _ how  _ good of a team they were. Almost as if they read each other’s minds; Sam fed Steve a fry, and Steve took it between his lips without even looking. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Tony interrupted their hungry feasting, “never heard the story.” 

Sam and Steve both paused while eating. Couples loved to tell the story of how they met. Rhodey and Tony should know, as they had worked the details of that tale to perfection, getting the perfect story about meeting their soulmate. 

Sam smirked, “he stalked me.” 

“I didn’t!” Steve springed to life to protest, “I just followed you.” 

Sam’s smirk didn’t waver, “that’s just a simpler word for stalking.” 

“Stalking is a 24/7 action. I just followed you while you ran.” 

“Right, much better,” Sam teased and then turned to Tony to tell the rest of the tale, “I like to run. I did a few laps every morning and then I’d go to work. One day, this crazy speeder comes running at me, keeps saying ‘at your left’. It would have been fine the first time, except it kept happening. This superhuman with superspeed just zooming past me saying ‘on your left, on your left, on your left’. One day, this guy over here tired me out of our little competition, and while I tried to catch my breath he came and said hello. And well, the rest is history.” 

“Hm,” Tony said, smiling at the sweet story and then leaned back at where Rhodey’s arm was thrown around his shoulders, “so he annoyed you into dating him?” 

Sam laughed, “yeah, pretty much.” 

“Well,” Rhodey flicked his shoulder playfully, “so did you.” 

“I am not dating Sam to my knowledge,” Tony joked. 

Rhodey snorted, “you know what I meant, asshole.” 

Tony smiled and pecked Rhodey’s lips, “you love it when I annoy you.” 

~~~

The date went well as far as they were concerned. Sam and Rhodey were easy friends and so were Steve and Rhodey. Even Sam and Tony quickly hit it off making plans for parachute flying, much to Steve and Rhodey’s horror. Steve and Tony weren’t friends quite yet, but the dinner passed with no intense arguments between them. They did learn a lot about each other, things that made them feel more relaxed at the idea of hanging out on their own. Tony learned that Steve bonded with Redwing and was the one to name him. Steve learned that Tony used to take care of Rhodey’s entire squad with care packages. 

“We should do this again sometime,” Sam offered. 

“Yeah, maybe take a painting course together,” Steve teased. 

Sam glared at him, “I’ll make you sleep on the couch, don’t think I won’t.” 

“Sam’s a terrible artist,” Rhodey whispered to Tony, and then to Steve said, “I think that’s a good idea. I love sketching. It’s all about math and geometry.” 

Steve frowned, “what?” 

Sam now turned his glare to Rhodey, “I’ll disown you, Jamie.” 

“Sam, the trick is to scribble shit and then call it modern art,” Tony offered a tip. 

Sam smiled at the joke, but Steve wrapped an arm around him and said, “Sam tried. He couldn’t even do that.” 

Sam gaped at him, betrayed, and then smacked his bicep. “Screw you,” Sam mumbled.

Steve seemed genuinely hurt by that, and took pity on his boyfriend. “I’m just kidding, babe. We can do something else,” Steve said gently and then suggested, “I say we have a workout date.”

Both Tony and Rhodey frowned, unhappy with the idea. “Have one on your own,” Rhodey said, “I can barely keep up with Sam, let alone Steve.” 

Tony laughed at Rhodey’s statement, “and I thought Steve was the old man here.” 

Rhodey raised an eyebrow in challenge, “oh, because you can keep up with them?” 

“Maybe we can go clubbing,” Tony offered, smoothly changing the subject, “live a little of our college days, y’know.” 

Steve coughed, “I don’t like clubbing. The music nowadays is horrible.”

“I can pay them to change the music. We could dance to Billy Idol again, huh, honey?” 

“Swing music is better,” Steve said and Sam nodded approvingly. 

Tony groaned, “platypus, I’m being bullied.” 

“You’re all missing the obvious activity,” Rhodey didn’t respond to Tony’s whine, “game night.” 

Tony smiled, knowing how his husband loved games, “as long as I’m not with Capsicle I’m game.” 

“Well, pairing Rhodey and Steve together will be unfair,” Sam said, “they’re too good.”

“Couple vs. couple then,” Steve said. 

“Uh no,” Tony objected, “you two are too insync. You’ll beat us.” 

“True,” Sam smirked. 

“Nothing beats knowing one another for your entire life, though,” Rhodey told him, “we’ll win.” 

“So, it’s settled,” Steve smiled, “next time Sam and I win in charades.” 

~~~

The unlikely foursome went on to go to have many more dates together. Brunches and cat cafes, bubble tea and luna park dates, much needed cooking lessons and bird watching, chess tournaments and picnics. Eventually, Tony and Steve became friends, falling into a weird friendship filled with brotherly teasing and far in between devotion, and Sam and Rhodey found it amusing to bet on what Steve and Tony would fight about this time (Rhodey always bet on “which of us is the better boyfriend?” He was always right). 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a kudos if you did enjoy and a comment to tell me what you enjoyed!


End file.
